| Teach Kids a Healthy Respect for Money |
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One of the most important lessons we can teach our children is a proper perspective toward money and possessions -- a subject they won’t learn in school. Our homes must be the classrooms, and we are the teachers. Here are important values your kids need to know.
1. Be responsible. Children aren’t born knowing they should treat possessions—their own or someone else’s—with care. They learn quickly, though, when you let them suffer the consequences of poor choices. Let your children know that if they leave their bikes in the rain, toys in the yard, or belongings at school, and if these items are broken, destroyed, or stolen, you won’t automatically replace them. Also, when your child breaks (even accidentally) another child’s toy, as the responsible party, your child should help pay for a replacement.
2. Be productive. Children need to see themselves as productive contributors to the welfare of the home, since they benefit from living there. Even three-year-olds can fold washcloths and pick up toys. As kids grow older and getting an allowance becomes an attractive possibility, you have an excellent opportunity to teach them that getting money is related to working. (See "Allowance Guidelines for Kids" in the Learn area.)
Don't do anything or buy anything on a regular basis for your children that they are capable of doing or buying for themselves. Your role as a parent is to help them become independent, productive adults. One way to do this is to create opportunities for your children to earn their own money, and encourage them to work and save money for things they dream about.
3. Be honest. Teach your children that this is the best--and only--policy. In addition to being clear about not taking items from friends, neighbors, stores, or family members, teach your kids that even nontangibles—those extra cable channels, time owed to an employer, credit for something someone else did—can be stolen. And remember, double standards can be dangerous. Children will learn a lot about being honest if they see us calling the cable company to report the free service we're receiving, returning the extra when we’re given too much change, or when we find something that is not ours, making every effort to return the item to the rightful owner.
And make sure your kids understand that taking means borrowing something without asking permission, including going in Mom’s purse or Dad’s wallet to get money without permission. 4. Be generous. You don't have to teach children to be greedy. It comes naturally to them. The best way to fight greed is to become a family of givers so that your children can experience the true satisfaction of giving to someone else. Even the youngest children can learn to share. When toddlers have the opportunity to play with others, they can begin to understand how to share and be generous. As kids get older, talk at the dinner table about specific ways you have been treated generously. Brainstorm about how you can live generously. For example, volunteering as a family in your community can be a fun and memorable way to teach your kids the importance of giving to others.
5. Be yourself. Kids need to understand that they are not what they own, wear, or drive. Remind them regularly of their inestimable value as a uniquely gifted individual. If the latest fads, fashions, or activities are a "must" for a child, this is a sign that the child is seeking his identity in material things, not quality of character. A powerful way to show your child that he is valuable is by spending time with him -- enjoyable quality time and lots of it. If you feel that you haven't been spending enough positive time with your child, don't get caught in the trap of spending money to ease your guilt.
6. Be realistic. Kids need to know that it's a fact of life that none of us always gets what we deserve. Sometimes we get more, sometimes less. But most of the time, we will have more than we need. It's important to model an attitude of thankfulness and contentment for our children. Be alert for opportunities to show them how to be thankful for the little things--a warm bath, a comfortable bed, a beautiful sunset.
Be sure to see the chapters in The Busy Mom’s Guide to a Happy, Organized Home and The Busy Couple's Guide to Sharing the Work & the Joy devoted to managing family finances.You'll find lots of helpful ideas. |
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